NAUGHTY SMS

Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 153 Characters

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I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 116 Characters

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Hair oil ki ad mein hair dikhate hain, Skin cream ki ad mein Skin, Toothpaste me Teeth, Footwears me Feet, par WHISPER ki ad mein kuch nahi dikhate????
Jaago Grahak Jaago!

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 172 Characters

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A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 157 Characters

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Press down.




down more


deeper



more
YES



ahh



ohh




yes
Almost there!


ooh baby


faster


harder
FEEL GOOD?

mmmm

THAT'S TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 197 Characters

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( ')
/ / in love !
/ /
( ) )

, ( ') engaged
/ , '
( ) )

married
, - - .
( ) )'(, )

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 95 Characters

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Please
( ) press down!
( ) )

( ')
/ /
( ) ) oh yeah !!!

( ')'.:,".;.
/ / ';".',,'
/ / ooohhh
( ) ) baby ur good!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 127 Characters

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 96 Characters

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A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 164 Characters

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A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 167 Characters

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A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 137 Characters

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A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 156 Characters

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A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 153 Characters

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A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 142 Characters

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One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 168 Characters

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1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 160 Characters

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Sounds women make during sex.
1) Asthmatic - ah.ahh.ah..ah.
2) Obedient - yes.yes..yes.
3) Unsatisfied - more. more...more.
4) Religious - oh god. oh god.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 158 Characters

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Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 103 Characters

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Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?

  )    (
( .)( . )
  )     (


because....



90% of the
boys are
right handed..

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 147 Characters

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In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.

He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 163 Characters

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School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 133 Characters

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INDIA KI REET... Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR... Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR... Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... aur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 163 Characters

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Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 80 Characters

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Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 147 Characters

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When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...







VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 179 Characters

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Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?....




Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 98 Characters

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Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 142 Characters

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Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 200 Characters

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Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti, to ladki bhi nahi hoti.

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 123 Characters

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Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 136 Characters

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An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 130 Characters

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Colour of underwear reflects your mood:
Red - Wild,
Black - Sexy,
Blue - Romantic,
Pink - Seductive
White - Calm,
Yellow - time to change your undrewear!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 159 Characters

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Daughter: Mom, kya yeh sach hai ki ladke jahan apna l*nd dalte hain, bachha wahin se nikalta hai?
Mom: Haan.
Daughter: Oh my god! To kya mera bachha mere muh se niklega?

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 171 Characters

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A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 93 Characters

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Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 138 Characters

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It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 145 Characters

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Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 184 Characters

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Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 105 Characters

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Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 135 Characters

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Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 125 Characters

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A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.

Naughty SMS, Naughty Hindi SMS, 137 Characters

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.
(')


(')
/ /
/ /

(')
)/ /


"o (')
.' )/ /


o""o (')
( '.' )/ /

o""o (') HELLO!
( '.' )/ /
( . )Geeh som1's got a dirty mind!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 152 Characters

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(_,_)2 stay
(') Young
// +SEXY
(,))

) ' (
(_,_)DO
(,))
) ' (
(_,_)THiS
//
(,))

) ' (
(_,_)MÖre
(,))
(_,_)
(')'; OFTEN
// ';
(,)) '

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 151 Characters

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------) ' (------
---- (_(_)------
----- I I I -------
--I SEE U BABY--

------) ' (------
----(_)_)-----
----- I I I-----
SHAKIN DAT ASS!!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 154 Characters

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Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women

A: magnets have a positive side

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 84 Characters

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Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 157 Characters

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Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 132 Characters

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Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!

ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 165 Characters

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A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 168 Characters

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He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left...
I was hurt...
F***IN MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 162 Characters

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Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 135 Characters

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When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 112 Characters

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Jad aapji da janam hoya te tusi nange si te cheekan maar rahe si,
te hun jad tusi nange hunde ho te koi hor cheekan marda hai.
Sab time-time di gal hai!

Naughty SMS, Naughty Punjabi SMS, 156 Characters

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Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Naughty SMS, Naughty English SMS, 96 Characters